Saturday, September 5, 2009

My Bad Attitude.

This is how writers come up with stories:

I was reading a food blog today. I can't cook, but I do like to watch. Someone had posted pictures of a diner in a small Utah town. The menu included several Spam-based items. Insert Monty Python song here. Someone responding to the post questioned the presence of so much Spam. I opined that it was because of the large numbers of Mormon missionaries sent to Hawaii. I said we send them back with Spam and chlamydia.

Here's the idea. If you were going to invent an religion, how would you sell it? The goal is to convince people that your version of the supernatural is a New and Improved approach to reality. That if somebody follows this story, their life will be Much Much Better!

So what do you need to do? Perhaps shunt off anybody who is prone to break with the herd. Like the young people, who are full of hormones and questions. So why not give them a year to go off and proselytize? And by proselytize I of course mean get drunk and fall down with strangers. In between those weekends standing on people's porches in sweaty polyester suits.

And eating Spam, of course.

p.s. - If I've offended anyone, I don't care. I like Spam.

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