Wednesday, July 28, 2010

I Don't Like What Sucks.

First, a query update. One rejection, one or two that have gone past the "if I like it, I'll respond." A handful still alive, in silent limbo. I'm surprised that the age o' internet has not improved the rate or speed of response. Echo... echo... echo...

And on to what sucks. Disagreeing with a perfectly nice agent sucks. Yes, I've read another post over at Nathan Bransford's blog. A post in which he insists that the one thing a writer should not say is that another writer's work sucks. Particularly if the work is a novel that has found a place in the hearts of many, many readers. Surely if every fourteen-year-old and her mom in the world love a book, the book must be doing something right.

No, it's not.

I won't say to a new writer that their work sucks. Because they are learning. My work sucked when I started, and I'll be the first to admit it. I wrote a great deal that did not even begin to rise to the mark. I'll note that even if someone had pointed out the glaring badness of my work I would have kept going, first because I agreed and second because I loved learning the craft and knew I'd get there eventually.

Do I think there is anything wrong with pointing out that the writing in certain popular novels is bad? Nope. These writers are in the major leagues. Their agents and editors ought to be willing to hold their clients' feet to the fire. And these writers ought to respect their craft a bit more. Yes, you may have come up with an idea alluring to the pubescent set or the infrequent reader of fiction, but that does not mean you executed it well.

It's not just the books about Jesus' kids and the creepy pedo-vampires here. I've been disappointed by fantastic writers and called it like I saw it. Even the best can have off days, and off novels. Sometimes they suck. I refuse to participate in the self-congratulatory "good effort, gold star for everybody!" culture. Because yesterday I picked up Cormac McCarthy's All the Pretty Horses and it is so good that my jealousy and respect cannot be measured by any caliper known to man. Lordy, can that man write.

Gold Star.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Query Update.

I have queried four agents thus far, all good matches to the book, all reputed to respond quickly. I have had not a single response of any kind from any of them. I have written a synopsis, and can now head out for those agents who wish to receive this particularly hideous form of written communication.

Hope I can at least score a rejection or two before I grow old and drop dead.

And as for the very persnickety requirements agents have for submissions? Those hoops we must jump through? You know: "if you do not have a Serious Adult Significant email address we will not respond"?

Two of the four agents thus far have had MailerDaemon or "mailbox full" responses to query emails.

Am I very concerned that I minded every P & Q in those submissions? Yeah, not so much. Do I like being lectured about professionalism by folks who can't keep their inbox in order? Nope.

Echo... echo... echo...

Friday, May 28, 2010

This Seems About Right.

http://theoatmeal.com/story/twilight

Monday, May 24, 2010

Dragged to a Halt Again...

Sorry about that. I'm involved in a weird project in Second Life (a non-disclosure agreement spares you the hideous boredom of my explaining it), and all my time has been sucked into a virtual void.

No news on the query front. I am working on my A-Team, Oh, Please submission list. And I have a can of chocolate frosting ready for the first rejection. That was my old rule: whenever a rejection came in I got a can of frosting. I had to have another query in the mail by the time the frosting was gone. With e-submissions I might have diabetes by the time this is over.

Speaking of optimism, I wanted to mention one important fact about novels: there is at least one good reason why any novel ever written should fail. One absolute, everyone-knows-it truth that should lead to rejection for any book. It's different for every book, of course, but you can come up with any number of them:

"I'm sorry, Mr. Faulkner, but readers in the north don't want folksy southern tales these days."

"Ms. Rowling, YA readers are girls. They want female main characters."

"Get out of my office and go learn how to tell a story, Mr. Joyce."

It's easy to get wrapped up in all the reasons a book shouldn't work. And it's a good thing to bear in mind while waiting for agents to give you a bunch of new reasons you've never thought of why yours won't.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Where the Rubber Hits the Road.

Or something like that involving a fan, which is less inspiring and hopefully less apt.

The first query is out. I do like the email query. It does add the terrifying prospect of the auto-reject, but so far all is quiet. I have a list of a few agents I'm going to query individually for a while, then I'll put together some multiple submissions. I know it's not the way you're supposed to do it, you're supposed to do multiple submissions from the first, but hey, why not lower my odds right from the start?

The query is under 200 words, which works. I think. I hope. Sigh.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Hey!

When the previous post, well, posted, a little ad popped up in the margin next to "View Your Post." It said "Ask a Real Estate Attorney."

No! No, don't do that!

Grrrr...

A Pause for Real Advice.

Also the result of some of the PublishAmerica disasters: if you are offered a publication contract, get it reviewed by a publication attorney. Not any attorney. Not your sister-in-law the real estate attorney or your cousin the divorce attorney. You need an attorney who knows publishing. Because there is a difference, a ginormous difference, between a contract that is legal and a contract that is good. Publication attorneys may not come cheap, but you should look for a bargain here about as much as you want to look for a bargain neurosurgeon. This is your career.

With my contract, I engaged the services of the excellent and patient Greg Victoroff of Rohde & Victoroff:

http://www.rohde-victoroff.com/

And I will do so again, with luck.

Please do not risk your novel on a contract that your sister-in-law thinks "looks okay."